Jo Jo & Jade

I'm Jo Jo. I've worn women's underwear since I was young, and for a long time I hid it. I threw everything out more than once, sure something was wrong with me, and it always came back. Hiding never made it go away. It just made me lonelier.

Some of the women I opened up to were wonderful about it. Some weren't. It took me years to see that the difference usually wasn't the kink. It was who I told, how safe I'd made it for her, and how I said it.

Jade is my wife. We were friends first. She holds the key most days, and the two of us have a better marriage than either of us expected. Not because she turned into a dominatrix. She didn't. She leads in her own way, we switch when we feel like it, and plenty of nights are just regular nights.

We started writing this because men kept messaging me with the same story: they told her, it went wrong, and they decided she was never going to be open to it. Most of the time she wasn't the problem. The delivery was.

What we are, and aren't

We're not therapists or doctors, and we don't pretend to be. What we know comes from living it, from reading a lot, and from the men and women who write to us. When something is bigger than what we can help with, like deeper questions about gender identity, depression, or a relationship that's in real trouble, we'll point you to people who actually do that work.

Jo Jo and Jade are pen names. We keep this separate from the rest of our lives on purpose, and we'll protect your privacy the same way. Nobody who writes to us gets named, quoted, or screenshotted. Ever.

Find us

The guide lives on Patreon, and the short guides are here. We're also on X, Bluesky, Instagram, TikTok, FetLife, and you can email us at [email protected].